Entry 8- Story Planning 2

This lesson we edited our storyboard. 

There are lots of things that we changed in our story. First of all, we got rid of the idea of tally marks, running to a lot of doors and the shadow. We got rid of the tally marks as it doesn't really matter to the story line. We got rid of running to a lot of doors as they can be implied through the marking on the map, which saves our time. We got rid of the shadow idea and instead changed it to a mysterious figure as we can't really control how our shadows are going to be shown all the time. 

The first thing that we improved from last time is the last part where she goes to the swimming pool. It is now fully fixed for a better story plot. Instead of her just randomly jumping into the swimming pool even though she's scared of it, we'll make it so that she's jumping into the swimming pool because she's cornered by the mysterious figure. Since she's cornered by the mysterious figure, she'll have no choice but to get into the water, but she won't. Instead, a strong force of the water will splash onto her, pushing her to the swimming pool. This is god's work. 

We still had to think a lot about the mysterious figure. We first thought of how he'd appear. At first, we thought of making the girl wake up in the middle of the bev Philben room. She then feels that something is behind her, so she looks back but there's nothing there. She'll look forward again. There will be a part where the guy then walks towards her from his POV in a slow motion, like a horror suspense scene. The girl then looks backwards only to find that there is nothing there again, so she looks forward, but the guy appears. He then approaches her with his arm outstretched as if he's trying to choke her. The girl will close her eyes for a second, but then she'll open it up when nothing happens, only to find that he's no longer there. She'll then run out of the room scared. 

We told Mr Andrews about this idea, and how Bev Philben Room would be good as the carpet floor is blue, symbolising her sadness. Mr Andrews told us that it was all good and well, but that you had to make it obvious that she was searching for something from the start of the film. Therefore, we decided to use that idea for later. Mr Andrews told us that it'd be great if she wakes up in a panicked mode to show that she is panicked and in a hurry to find the exit. 

After discussing with Sarah for a while, we just decided to make the girl run around to find the exit. She'll first just run down the road and then to a door. She'll try to use a lock but it won't work. She'll then open up a map which will say that she needs to find an exit soon and that only one place is left to go. This is the part where we'll put the dark mysterious figure. 

At first, we were thinking of just letting her go to the swimming pool, but since it's quite obvious that the building that she'll go to is a swimming pool and since she's obviously traumatised by water, we decided to have her open up a random antique door that leads to the swimming pool. 

Also, for the cup metaphor. We decided to make the mysterious figure hold it and god to knock it off from his hands when he saves her. By knocking off the cup from the figure's hands, the girl is knocked into the water. Correlation. :D We also decided to have this cool effect of the girl escalating upwards by a mysterious force. This will be done by making the video go backwards when we film the girl is sinking towards the bottom of the pool. We'll also have a graphic match of when she comes out from the pool to when she wakes up. 

Draft 1: 

Genre: Drama

Time: Day 665 / 666

Plot: A girl in a coma after drowning and being unconscious for 666 days is looking for the exit to 

         'life'. As the demonic figure chases her, she must find the 'exit to life', before death takes her.

OUTLINE:

1. The film will start with a white fade in with a heart monitor

1. Girl running towards camera with key in hand and map in her pocket

1. She runs around trying to find different doors

1. Satan's view of the girl from behind

1. Girl looks behind her, no one is there

1. As the girl turns back around, the dark figure is standing in front of her

1. The figure "teleports" towards her

1. The girl steps backwards and falls over

1. The figure disappears

1. A note is left saying, "Your life is in my hands"

1. Devils hand pouring water into a cup (Black background)

1. Girl looking for door

1. As girl tries to unlock door, flash to god knocking glass

1. Girl unlocks door to dark room with pool

1. Water gushing over her, pushing her into the pool

1. Flashback and present of drowning

1. Girl wakes up in hospital

• Map

• Red pen

• Satan symbol on satanic figure's neck

• Note 

• Locker 666

• Glass of water

• Key

PROPS: